I've heard it said that anger is a higher value ("vibration") than self-loathing. I question that. Anger for me feels like the ultimate form of self-loathing. Is anger my own projection? I bet it is, which makes anger 'self' focused; one can take account (-ability) of the rage or passion as the INSIDE-STORY that created it. Our life reflects or expresses the result of our dominant thoughts. “For love is exultant when it unites equals, but it is triumphant when it makes that which was unequal equal in love.” ― Soren Kierkegaard
Can't We All Get Along, The Holy Moment as Expressed by the REAL Rodney King
In my early 20's, I had the good fortune to read, "Myths, Models, and Paradigms: A Comparative Study in Science and Religion," authored by Ian Barbour who won the Templeton Award for his work. He addressed through a Venn Diagram how the bridge of science and the shore of faith can 'co-exist' through the medium of shared language. When science talks to or 'at' religion in the language native to science, the language of faith cannot be accessed (no dialog occurs). Conversely, if religion talks in their native tongue to or 'at' science, then once again, futility reigns supreme. But there is a space wherein both disciplines have a common language, an overlapping area between the two seemingly opposing disciplines. This general idea of common language or experience as a uniting principle intrigued me, and here it is 40 years later, I'm still using the concept. I suspected there are overlaps between all people, systems of thought, and principles, wherein all healing and peace have a chance to thrive, as a Shaman Medicine Woman said, 'in a balance of polarities.'
If the Tower of Babel was real, then I bet the problem was everyone thinking they are unique, they are right, and they clung to this 'separation consciousness' until all communication broke down. In another setting where everyone spoke different languages (Day of Pentecost), they all understood one another through the Universal Gift of the Holy Spirit. The following example might seem like a stretch, but maybe in Quantum Mechanics, the language of spirit is emerging whereby religion and science have an opportunity to live in the present peacefully. Everything is connected, and even the molecules themselves are subject to our prayers (faith) and intentions (science) to know the truth and find mutual freedom.
You know, it seemed an easy thing to look for the good in "others" to look for the overlapping WE SPACE and to move forward from there. It's not the Minnesota Nice head-trip thing whereby we employ passive, polite reservations to arrive at peace with others. Instead, it is leaving our acquired comfort zone and finding our strength through shared vulnerability. It's more than just the art of diplomacy, it is arriving at a state of being teachable. Both science and religion can TRUST themselves enough to trust one another. Go in with a clean slate. The overlap might be dangerous territory and appear quite narrow, but it's the 'biggest small place' in the world. It's the ONLY place where we can all fit together perfectly, but know that the world and its institutions will try to distract you, call you out of the straight and narrow unity, to maintain its addiction to judgment (separation consciousness).
During the most challenging time of my life AKA the Dark Night of the Soul, I had everything burned away from me (the Gift of Fire) that wasn't real, that separated my perception from the Unconditional Grace of God's Love. Hence, the Seneca quote that encapsulates this for me: 'Ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes viros.' Translated: 'Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.'
My spending 3 & 1/2 years in the ‘Dark Night’ left my old self dead; "Self" emerged. All that was left of 'me' was bare bones or bare metal, the skeleton of truth with which I could rebuild my life; an ultimate sense of innocence emerged, a sacred space where nothing could separate me from our Creator emerged. We are all created to experience this unity if we allow it. It is our Shared Space of Overlap, the part of ourselves we cannot screw up and no one 'else' can screw up, either.
We were created with a clean slate, and it's always been the case that we are innocent. Were it not so, we would not be directed to 'be as little children,' childlike, which is not to be confused with childish. When a scientist has a pure intention set in search of truth, they are expressing that childlike innocence to which I refer. When a person of faith has a pure plan (prayer) in pursuit of truth, they also experience childlike innocence. "The truth shall set you free" was not just for people of faith. Our common denominator is our real starting point; a quote from A Course in Miracles might be helpful: "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God". This same truth exists between all people, offender and victim, republican and democrat, and even between all religions and atheism.
Jean-Paul Sartre, an Atheist Existentialist (I lean to Christian Existentialism), wrote an interesting book, titled, Existentialism and Human Emotions. A great book well worth the read, I might add. One of Sartre's most famous quotes was, "Hell is other people," which I uncomfortably dismissed when I first read it. Then a light bulb appeared over my head, and I realized OTHER people was the crux of the objection I had. If I don't see OTHERS as OTHERS and see them as they truly are, then hell itself disappears. CS Lewis pointed out that "The door to hell is only unlocked from the INSIDE'. Separation Consciousness is a sure version of hell.
What's compelling about Heaven, is that it can align with both science and religion equally. The sun shines on us all. An inspirational quote by Hāfiz about the value of Love: “Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.'
On Joy & Sorrow, Jubran Khalil Jubran (Khalil Gibran)
Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the reassure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Starting to Blog Again!
Problem with the Lint God
Just as a dog stares toward an unidentified, unfamiliar sound,
and a cat immediately relocates away from the meaningless sound thereof,
the intuitive contour releasing one from the bondage of non-discernment
rarely meaningfully intersects
the illusory
human spirit of
procrastination.
Problems with the Lint God
begin and with the maintenance of cleaning
the Lens on the Camera called
Service.
No One's More Humble Than Me
In the School of Prayer, invisible doors open and close on the hinges of humility (no demands, expectations, nor comprehension stand as a requisite to cooperation).
Many years ago, I read a book titled, “The Good Old Timers”. It was a historical insight into the personalities behind the Oxford Movement, out of which grew a well-known organization that flourishes today called Alcoholics Anonymous. It was interesting reading about what motivated these individuals to create a movement to help the helpless, denigrated souls who were generally considered hopeless because they were “alcoholic”.
One of the more prominent figures of the time was a proctologist known as, Dr. Bob. For decades, Dr. Bob had a plaque on his desk which in some circles came to be known as the Humility Prayer or Statement. The original source is attributed to Andrew Murray, a South African Minister. It moved me such that I would like to share in this article the contents thereof.
“Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Creator in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble.”
Any time a human being experiences a pure layer of humility, it can be argued that they were walking on water.
The only time I am upset is one God or someone else ‘ain’t’ doing things my way. In God’s economy, nothing is wasted.
Here's the Key to bringing about the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth
Gratitude Beyond Pain of Every Variety
Mock Crash ~ St. Francis High School
Today St. Francis high school staged a mock crash, which was supported by the St. Francis Community Drug Awareness Organization. It took a lot of preparation to set up the Mock Crash. Sometimes a mock crash does not have a helicopter come in, and sometimes they do. I think it has to do with the availability of a helicopter, but this time they had one. After the helicopter left and the Hertz picked up the corpse, the mock crash itself was officially over, and then I was introduced to speak.
Youth volunteers walked around with my posterboard props to show the audience while I was speaking. These youth impressed me with their attention to civic responsibility and volunteerism. I could easily see these youth grow to be leaders.
The audience was very attentive to my story, were quiet and appropriate during the entirety of my speech, and seemed to be very committed to the sober drivers.
They said they might invite me back to speak at the next Mock Crash in 2020. I got kick cancer's butt before that becomes a reality.
It was also great to have two personal friends make the drive to St. Francis to hear me speak. Heartwarming!
Here's a video link:
https://www.facebook.com/danaanna024/videos/10156439203978112/?t=11
Mock Crash ~ White Bear Lake
Mock Crash speech at the White Bear Lake High school. We had several speakers (see notes by each photograph). I was the 'Keynote Speaker' but did not get any photographs of myself (I almost always forget to ask for a photo, kinda dopey, lol!). If I find out they took one, I'll add it.
What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes.” ― Alexandre Dumas
Tear Collector
I saved my tears for years in a Tear Collector and then bought oils appropriate to the task, secured a beautiful basin, and washed my loved-ones feet with my hair (I actually had long enough hair back then). That person left Earth School long ago (died of drinking). But this person experienced love from me.
Like a cat rubbing its face on everything near it, I go about my business annoying people. LOL! It's a tough job. Somebody's gotta do it.
Messengers
When I pull through, I'll be able to help more people. My life is to serve others, not serve myself.
Expect a Miracle
I have been so weak and tired, it's been very hard to gather the energy to Blog, but I'm managing today. Here's a little something for you:
In early recovery I heard a great many things that help keep me on track, one of them being Expect a Miracle.
Well now...a friend of mine, Tina Feigal just sent me a book titled, 'Expect a Miracle' and I'm excited about digging in!
We should ALL write about the Miracles that have happened in our lives. Some of us should have been dead a long time ago, but I guess Creator had other plans! LOL!
Have you ever meet someone who defied EVERY ODD of survival (like most addicts, really), who have been WALKING ON WATER so long and didn't know it until one fine day they got Clean in Recovery and realized they were the recipient of a Miracle (or bunches of them)? Well, every person whose path we cross is a Miracle when we are looking for Messages.
Who or what is YOUR Messenger today?
Earth School: Love One Another
First Things First & the Spiritual Abacus
To the surrendered heart, soul, mind and strength, the first and the last are identical. God determines the order, even if it looks backward to the human mind. First Things First has its place in the lower order of things, like, get your oxygen mask on when the plane is going down BEFORE you help others get theirs on. But in the Higher Meaning of Life, God's Love is the true oxygen. Whether we live or die is irrelevant. Maybe Lazarus was bummed after Jesus boogied, leaving him behind. But ultimately, all things are pure to the pure of heart, surrendered consciousness. In God's Economy, nothing is wasted. The last shall be the first and the first shall be the last.
Eulogy for Flibbertigibbetting
Gossiping about someone without giving them a chance to color the evidence is cowardly, harmful, and wrong. Gossip is born in mind, passes the lips like a subtle hiss, and brings down the greater good to the lowest common denominator. It commonly serves as a tool to make oneself feel superior to someone else. I've rarely heard accurate information transmitted regarding a person who was not present to hear it communicated. This same mistake broadly applies to religion, science, politics, management/HR, family, homelessness, race, gender, income levels, etc.
Bobby Fischer, the 11th World Chess Champion that many esteem as the best that's ever been (probably a higher percentile of Americans subscribe to this notion than abroad), taught a lesson on chess that I absorbed as a life truth. He said it is paramount to look at every square on the board that every piece can move before committing oneself to a move. Sounds like great advice for life in general, right? Silence and circumspection should attend every important decision that one makes before pulling the trigger. This training readies us for real life when we might not have time to flesh out all the possibilities.
When we are in training or otherwise have time, here’s what has helped me through the years. I call it T-3, and in certain circles, it is an axiom or Slogan. "Think, THINK, Think" has for me become a lifestyle, akin to Bobby Fischer's' prescription for winning chess. 1-T) Think. I briefly consider the matter at hand, then separate myself quickly from it to suspend my judgment, then return to it with objectivity. 2-T) On important issues, I consider every aspect of it as deeply as I am capable, analyzing the interplay of ideas, moves, and relational outcomes consummate to the task at hand. Then after holding on to the possibilities that seem most promising and dismissing the chaff, I select the strongest sequence of moves available, and then I WALK AWAY or daydream about anything other than the plan. Then, 3-T) Returning to the decision I made after the thorough consideration, I reconsider my options confidently but without conceit, looking for things I might have missed.
In tournament chess, the hard and fast rules are, "Touch Move, Touch Take." If you touch the piece, then you must move it or take it. Touching is a total commitment; just like speaking is not easily unspoken, one should weigh it out carefully before committing to it.
Then comes the clincher for clarity. I free my mind of everything I think I know, then reach for the piece to move, and deliberately 'almost' touch the piece several times. With the spirit of humility and gentleness rather than fear or agenda, I wait for my intuition to reveal what my logical mind missed. I can't begin to count the number of times the intuitive mind shows me what I missed in my 'Think, THINK, Think' processing. Emily Dickenson said, “Dwell in possibility.” How can we gossip about a thing that doesn’t feed our ego or anger? Gossiping is a strange form of lazy supremacy. Rise above it, and you’re bound to taste the sweetness & peace you’ve been desiring.
Negative Vision Board
It goes both ways, right? Practicing the wrong thing over and over expecting different results? Hard head, soft ass. Hard ass, soft head. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, if we allow it. I needed every drunk that led up to the last one (knock on wood). But if there are GOOD miracles, there are probably BAD miracles, too, though most people view a miracle as something positive. We get what we focus on or pray for.
We can make a Vision Board for a beautiful future or we can make one for a rotten future.
Grief: Magi of the Sacred Fire
“COGI QUI POTEST NESCIT MORI” (‘Who can be forced has not learned how to die’) ~ SENECA THE YOUNGER
A 13-year-old girl I know recently overdosed on prescription drugs. Her Godmother grieved because she promised the girl’s mom who was on her deathbed with cancer that she would protect her daughter. Hence, the motivation for the following article on grief.
"There can be no grief without love, for a person who does not love, cannot grieve. Grief is the Servant of Love, but this Servant's duty is of 'Firekeeper.'
What is the purpose of grief? Grief fire burns off everything that is not essential to Love. This whole, lengthy undertaking, is excruciatingly painful to the carrier of Love but is key to Love's purification.
Ironically, Grief burns off illusions and attachments, but nothing more. The only thing real is Love, and when the attached illusions are but embers, Grief itself does its Sacred Last Dance around the Dying Life of the Fire.
Then, its duty consummated, Grief throws itself upon the embers of an old existence to die in a brilliant burst of flames. The beauty of the moment illuminates beautiful mystery, and unforgettable higher learning is left alone to leave its newborn to experience life on life’s terms.
Here’s another Seneca quote: "ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes homines". A loose translation, ‘as fire tempers gold, so strong people are tempered by suffering.' To become pure gold, the original gold-bearing ore must go through the tempering process or Trial by Fire; the analogy being that for a person strong in spirit, adversity and suffering are the tempering agents necessary to refine character and bring out real potential.
The entirety of humanity is at times perplexed by its inner demons, but burn off the demons, and all that remains is true Self. Our problem is that we have forgotten who we are. But there is Hope, for our Friend Grief is the Magi of the Sacred Fire.
If Grief fails to kill itself after performing its duty, then the process of renewing attachment begins, and the cycle of grief begins anew. Wave after wave of pain drowns the fire until the Spirit learns Love is more powerful and necessary than oxygen.
Here's a poem titled, "Phoenix" that I wrote about this process from my experience, and I share it to help my friends make some sense of their Grief." Religiously stated, maybe the process was like LOVE...the ghostly gift rising like the phoenix from the curse, like Christ leaving hell. This Too Shall Pass.
Follows is a poem I wrote about grief after losing a marriage, a loved-one who drank herself to death, and more. No matter what happens to us, we grow stronger with time.