Alcohol Impaired (Poisoning), AKA, Alcohol Impaired Driving

When some dies of Alcoholism, it’s rarely (if ever) on the Death Certificate as the ‘cause of death’. More people die each year because of alcohol poisoning than most other causes of death.

I’ll be listening to Mr. Markle speak in Hopkins next month. The following link will let you see and hear a bit of his story. I’m also adding a link to an interview I did at Minneapolis Television Network last year.

Jon Markle: http://www.startribune.com/fatal-plunge-into-lake-minnetonka-forces-family-to-reckon-with-future/478399163/?refresh=true

Timothy Cameron: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKCEGhVXh8M

Psycho-horticulture: Diogenes & Alexander, Obstacles to the Sunlight (of the Spirit); Treatment or Prison?

Alexander the Great went in person to see Diogenes, and he found him lying in the sun. Diogenes raised himself up a little when he saw so many people coming towards him and fixed his eyes upon Alexander. When that monarch addressed him with greetings, asking if he wanted anything, Diogenes responded, "Yes, stand a little out of my sun."

It is said that Alexander was so struck by this, and admired so much the haughtiness and grandeur of the man who had nothing but scorn for him, that he said to his followers, who were laughing and jesting about the philosopher as they went away, "But truly, if I were not Alexander, I wish I were Diogenes." Diogenes replied, "If I wasn't Diogenes, I would be wishing to be Diogenes too."

As with all manners of historical recitation, there exist many interpretations and anecdotes of the preceding dialog, but the panoramic reality and its shadows are at worst an opportunity for modern comparisons.

I prefer the following version, while admittedly no less provable: "I have nothing to ask but that you would remove to the other side, that you may not, by intercepting the sunshine, take from me what you cannot give."

In many of my speeches, I quote Mary Jo Robinson, who said that "No one has the right to be an obstacle to a fellow human being getting well." If we stand or block the sunlight, the plant might wither or worse. It would seem to follow that a plant potted in a basement with but one window for light might also compromise the plant. The plant will likely grow at the degree of angle toward the sun as is its' genetic design prescribes. But once removed from the basement of life and placed in regular sunlight next to those plants which are designated 'normal' because they grew organically in earth's natural favor, the former plant would appear an aberration and might be shunned by the classically enamored pyscho-horticulturist. But left in organic soil and protected from acts of non-nature, the aberration will in time grow straight upward toward the sun and 'miraculously heal' of its purported aberration.

Many of us are like the plant in the basement, 'growing toward the light'. Once removed from the unnatural setting and placed back into 'society', the plant still looks like a problem and may act accordingly until it heals. The problem is oftentimes, society takes that same plant and incarcerates it to a new basement called jail or prison, where the sunlight is again only shining into the plant's environment at the same angle that made it appear sick in the first place.

This is why I endorse treatment over incarceration. This is also why I don't think people 'go to hell' after they die. Why would God punish someone for growing toward the Sunlight of the Spirit? We are ALWAYS growing toward the light, as our Spirit knows, even when our physical consciousness appears to contradict our ignorant premise and following conclusion.

Tomorrow when I post my Happy Monday alms on Facebook, perhaps I'll mirror Diogenes's posture before the statues of the gods, whereby he accepts humility and futility as equal teachers without pedestals.

There's Nowhere to Hide

There’s nowhere to hide and no need to hide in “Anonymous”. There’s no one to blame and no one gets credit; that’s beautiful. Yet there is sometimes a desire to hide in ‘anonymous’.

Someone asked why a person would hide their light under a basket rather than shine from the mountain, yes?

What’s the capitol of your attention, if any? Stated another way, what’s the Capital of your attention?

"Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world.  Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves.  All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."    --George Bernard Shaw

Phoenix 490 Future, 501(c)(3), Call for LOGO Artist

Here I am again, plugging for Phoenix 490!

Time to Ramp Up progress with Phoenix 490! I am finding more speakers and am glad to move ahead. Need to either start a 501(c)(3) or some other organization to ‘make it official’.

I believe the message of stopping impaired driving in our society is critical, but the message has to be more Universal to make a difference. If the mere rendition of horror stories were consummate to the task of aborting impaired driving in this country, we would have ended impaired driving 30 years ago. It’s time to do what works and stop futility chasing our tales, mistaking activity for progress. Empowering drivers rather than ‘guilting’ them is key. But forgiveness is also key to almost all ills in our society, because it unifies people peacefully. Who doesn’t need to forgive their “ex” in a divorce, an offender for hurting them, or forgive oneself for hurting someone else, etc? Healing our culture of racism, for example, is possible through forgiveness. For me, my Gang Symbol is the ASL Sign for I Love You. Maybe that could be coupled with the Phoenix 490 Logo?

But I need to focus on just a few items here, and one is going to the Secretary of Sate to get Phoenix 490 operational. If anyone has any ideas on how to form a 501(c)(3), please feel free to weigh in on the topic. I still need art or a LOGO for Phoenix 490.

My being unemployed for so long, I can’t currently afford to pay for an artist to do the work. But I could certainly help market the artist who helps us with a viable Logo. It should have a Phoenix in it and the number 490 in it too.

I am not the world’s best marketer, but God is my Spiritual Adviser and if this is a ship meant to sail, the wind with be provided while we set the proverbial sails.

Letter to My Friend who Lost His Son to a Drunk Driver 25 Years Ago, May 4th

Seems a lifetime ago we met, Jon, and a day I'll always remember.  Your ability to love was deeper than death and stronger than pain. Still is.  I myself don't know how to go on and I also don't know how to quit.  I remember a cop telling me I should have been fried in the electric chair after hearing me speak.  A school superintendent once called me an idiot after hearing me speak.  I have so many stories I could tell about such comments, but a wise woman (Sue K.) who lost her son told me (after I said her pain was so much worse than mine), that "Grief ain't a contest."  God, she, you, Sharon GD & Sharon B. and so many others helped lend me the strength to carry on, One Day At A Time (one second at a time for the first 8 years of speaking).  Serenity to accept things we cannot change is a collective miracle that we experience both alone and together. 

Phillip's pin that you gave me on the day we met is never far from me in my home office.  Neither is the Bible I cried on for years in my personal monastery (prison).  The collective miracle is the cumulative impact we make upon society.  Audiences ingest 'time release' pills that take years to digest (sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly).  Leaving indelible impressions upon human hearts is no easy task CULTURALLY.  But as I said before, knowing how to quit or carry on is a mystery.  Metaphorically speaking, 'Losing our Speaking Notes' is invaluable when expressing our innermost power.

No one knows what another person has to do with what has happened to them. No one knows what another human being needs on their Sacred Journey.  If we knew ahead of time what our Sacred Journey would cost us, most of us would certainly ‘opt out’, but that’s not the way life works.  Why ‘it happens’ to some of us and others have ‘close calls’ and no consequences is a mystery to me.  Maybe we have Sacred Contracts that only God comprehends.  Maybe Phillip, Little Timmy, and the hundreds of others we know about through our nearly three decades of speaking, are sitting in a circle and sending us their loving protection as we tell our stories.

I know this will sound crazy but I don’t care what it sounds like.  A man who lost his wife was speaking about a year after losing her to a drunk driver.  I saw a light open heaven over his shoulder and CLEARLY saw her face radiating with a loving smile upon him.  His grief was more than palpable, and this grief so many of us know so well, but we are never without our loved ones.  Love keeps the veil thin and while grief is proof of love, and we feel like we are dying or want to die, if we give up then when someone needs to hear our story and live (not having to go through it themselves), then we have accomplished something Eternal. 

I decided to live when feeling suicidal not because of what my life would or could look like, but because if I gave up, then I couldn’t help the people who are also feeling this grief to NOT give up, too.  I can’t help them if I’m dead.  The Itty-Bitty Shitty-Committee in my head showed up to argue this point for the those first eight years I mentioned earlier, until a miracle happened and I quit making anger (FOR ME, anger turned inward) stronger than God. 

History Repeating Itself & Multiple Personality Russian Roulette Syndrome

Nothing really profound here. Just felt like writing a bit.

OK, maybe humans are just plain crazy, but figure out their path, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. It's our beauty that's crazy. Sometimes we turn beauty into judgment, the projection eventually becomes an addiction (Buddhist's prefer the term Attachment), which turns inward and then acts OUT. The voting block in one's head thinks voting matters, then the trouble begins.

There is a center ground between every belief or lack of belief. Common Ground is a starting point. They say (well, someone said, who I don't know for sure), that those who don't study history are 'doomed' to repeat it.

But Zig Ziglar said repetition is the Mother of all Learning.

Prison & Loving Deeper than Pain

People have no idea how bad it really is in some places. You know they say one can 'unsee' a thing? Yeah, that, no matter how much one evolves in the right direction, memories still come up without warning. Most people hear a certain common, everyday phrase and think nothing of it, while others remember something that is REALLY normal. Keeping one's heart soft is a daily task requiring much focus. See the cell above? Try to see it without feces and urine everywhere, with the man covered in his own excrement, hidden away where few get to see him. See the man getting dinner with feces spread underneath his brownie, or mixed in with his gravy (one needed to hunt for the poop in every meal in the psych unit). Imagine a man being tied down and screaming while guard beat on his feet with billy clubs. Imagine seeing your friend's face all swollen after being handcuffed in a chair and having three canisters of mace emptied into his face and eyes. Imagine a man handcuffed in a chair while a guard takes pliers to his nose, breaking it (he later authored a part of the prison newspaper and his segment was called, "The Nose Knows." Imagine daring to befriend someone with such memories and vice-versa. Imagine being honest in a world where no one believes it. I could go on and on with stories, but they would offend the sensibilities maybe beyond repair. So my gravity holds in the clouds, lightning strikes my earth and thunder roars quietly within. This is why miracles are needed. I am relatively peaceful, thanks to those miracles. The quote about what doesn't kill us makes us stronger is only partly true. What kills us also makes us stronger.

I always wondered why God let me see this part of humanity. I think it was so I could love deeper than the pain.

Evolution and Distance

People often make the mistake of believing the part of themselves, the GOOD part of themselves, is what hates the bad part of themselves, but the truth is contrary.

The part of ourselves that is uncomfortable with what we don't like actually keeps us TRAPPED within the PAYOFF of both hated and hater.

The loving part of ourselves is not ‘weak’; it is not 'signing off on' bad behavior in some sort of twisted permission thereof. It’s not cosigning that part of us that cries out for remedy.

The world is addicted to judgement. The pain we feel that is ‘justified’, shows up with a warrant and arrests us, so we turn around and put the cuffs on ourselves; we feel like we gave up on battling the bad part of ourselves by submitting to the police department inn our minds.

Self-loathing is a cunning, baffling and powerful condition that is itself willing to go to any lengths to keep us trapped. We feel the part that hates ourselves is the GOOD part and if we don't feed it, we think we are giving the BAD part permission to keep doing what we view as wrong.

I wish I could explain this better. Put another way, we tend to forget or not notice what people have done right when we experience what we think they did wrong. I have met thousands of people in my life and I absorbed most of what I sensed about them in the moment. I remember one day in a 12 Step meeting repeating the first name of every person who spoke and repeating what they said in a condensed fashion. I ONLY repeated the good intention parts of what I heard.

How can anyone live with the rationality of experiences as such, especially when they feel the blame of the damage they have experienced, rather than absorb the love they were born to live with?

Fortunately, no one can screw up what and who we are and no one can screw anyone else up, either, without their permission.

I had a bumper sticker on my car that I discovered in early recovery that read, SCREW GUILT. Only a self-saboteur who finally lets the love out or in will fathom the rich relief available in such a moment.

When my heart breaks, light shines out from the cracks. Sometimes the reverse is true, like Leonard Cohen said.

Much pain evolves either up or down, dependent upon the distance between what we are and what we THINK we should be.

Quit thinking.