What I Am an Expert At?

What I Am an Expert At?

Truth without paradox is useless. Paradox brings me (us?) to the end of myself (ourselves), as does powerlessness, so the first step in expertise is getting out of the way of thinking for…oneself. Too many people view God as a “crutch”. Maybe one’s true crutch is thinking God is a crutch?

With surrender being the resting point of paradox, I can, therefore, move into new territory. The Set Aside Prayer is to ask God to help me forget everything I know about God so I can learn more about God’s Terms. Clean the slate.

Great Lessons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b5Xhgnd4lk&t=11s

I listened to the below-listed YouTube video and hope you will, too.

There is absolutely no reason to create a story of ‘fiction’ to drive home these powerful points, except the layers of life-lessons are decompressed expertly and done so in a short span of time.

These are such obvious truths, but the real truth is that we forget who WE are, ourselves. If we remembered who WE ourselves are, we could hardly speak a word in anger to a fellow human being.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean. Truth without compassion is cruelty. When we look FROM Love, we see and hear everything Lovingly. Resentments are the #1 offender.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b5Xhgnd4lk&t=11s

Love is a Verb AND a Noun

The EXPRESSION of Love, the Great Fact and Feeling in our lives, need not be hidden like a lamp beneath a bushel (as the proverb goes). Hiding the expression of love behind 'it's an action program' is Saturnian (rule obsession). The suffusion of intent and action, in balance, makes a unified whole.


The Feminine and Masculine or WE Program is a win/win/win. For me, God is Love, and if I am coming from Love, all I See or Hear is Love, whether manifested in Word or Action. As the Talmudic Rule reflects, we don't see things as they are; we see things as we are. WE: God, You & Me.


Ironically, people are sometimes so afraid of words, maybe because they are afraid of falling short of DOING what they say they'll do, that neither gets done. It's easier to 'say' (lol!) 'don't tell me, show me.' How about, 'tell me, show me'?


Me, I guess I am more Feminine than Masculine and 'organically work' to stay in balance. Listening is an Art, but so is what Michelangelo did. Listening with our eyes has value, too. You know the saying, that 'The eyes are the windows to the soul'?


The face that launched a thousand ships was Helen of Sparta, who sought the expression of love in Troy.

Condescension is the New American Science & Religion

It seems like condescension is so...condescending. I am close to believing and really wanted to say condescension is the new American Religion, but it's nothing 'new.' American and Religious need not be synonymous, though some would debate this.


Races demanding 'other' races how to treat them, engenders more racism. Genderists are savoring the same illusion as 'orientations' are either elevated as "special" or devalued as 'wrong.' Religions imposing harmony on other religions through oppression or outright violence have been issues since the dawn of humanity. I'm guessing as long as there are humans in religion, it can and will be misused. With the purported advent of science as the new religion, It has nothing to do with religion or science, it has everything to do with the humans that abuse these things.


Be the best person you can be and leave the outcome up to God is what I was taught, but I had to discover its value on my own.

Treatment Center Speech

My speech for the treatment center yesterday went well. Great responses, some synchronicities, and I even talked about dreams, so overall it went well. I received one email address from an audience member, which I am grateful for. Like Sharon Gehrman-Driscoll taught me through her use of an Emily Dickinson poem “if I can help but one heart from breaking, I shall not die in vain”.

Illegal for Me to Work in Treatment Centers and Own Air B & B?

MINI RANT: I just heard that Air B & B will not let someone use their service if you have a record. Not sure if it's state-by-state or what, but it's another obstacle to the societal integration of former offenders.


Gaining employment in treatment centers is illegal with a history of criminal violence, which might make sense to some people who don't think beyond their fear and self-imposed 'acceptable' standards of self-limitation. But there is life for others available FROM the advent of violence.


No matter how far down the scale one has gone in life, what they've done can be of service for others. Speaking about drinking in driving might save others from going down our path. Sometimes the dark past is the greatest light we can shine into the lives of others who are At Risk of entering the world we once knew. "KNEW," not KNOW.


I Am more than my Mugshot, but it's still illegal for me to help people in treatment centers? 'Once Upon a Time,' it was LEGAL in Minnesota for me to work in treatment centers (I worked in Hazelden for four years), but they changed the law, so now I can't work in treatment centers. The Senate and House are comedy galleries for voters who think the truth will lock people up and not set them free. I understand there are consequences for actions, naturally, but the mindset that disallows meaningful forgiveness is cruel and, unfortunately, usual.

Rant Over (for now).

Joining Prison Gangs to Survive, Choice or No Choice?

I watched a YouTube Vid about a guy who said if you’re white, you have to join a gang to survive in prison. I ain’t buyin’ it.

I thought about this for a while after hearing it and was very reluctant to comment on it. It was uncomfortable listening to this for many reasons that I won't touch on too much.

Life is worth more than joining a gang out of fear. Creator God is a strong gang if you will, right?

Someone said not to fear what people can do to the body, but rather focus on what's important (what they can do to the soul). Wouldn't it be better to die than join a gang that victimizes people in the most pernicious manner?

My life is far too sacred than to cheapen it by joining the AB or any other gang of predators. In prison, it broke my heart to know young men were repeatedly raped without fighting back out of fear for their life.

Rapists are cowards. Truth is, if they think they'll get their junk cut off (or bite off) or get stabbed in the heart over trying to get some ass, they'll go look for an easier target. People DO have a choice. The choice is tragic, I'll grant you that, but it's still a choice.

Now, if the gang is not sexual perps, are not predatory drug-heads who kill for profit, and are there for survival only, then maybe I could see where people might join any given gang.

My experience: all I can say is, Creator God protected me better than any gang ever could and why that happened, only God knows for sure. I started a gang in prison, but after they became corrupted, I walked away from the outfit.

Life is complicated, and I'm not judging anyone. Sure, DON'T GO TO PRISON is probably great advice, but it's not 'reality' that anyone, white, black, red or yellow, has to join a gang. I'm glad I survived long enough to sober up to love another day, that's all I'm sayin'. I don't miss the Bad Ol' Daze.

Every Shadow Has a Light

When we sleep and dream, we see colors that are as real as anything we see with our eyes wide-open in bright daylight, even though we are manufacturing our own light in the dream world. But sometimes the light in a dream is not of our own making, but of a Higher Light.

I know this will sound strange, but oh well. Before going to bed last night, I was in prayer and meditation, asking for wisdom on what to talk about in an upcoming speech. I also asked that the answer come in a dream, which in great part it did.

A recently departed Friend, Tom, was in the dream but ‘in the spirit’. I also saw some other people that had passed away (and some still living). I had a Guide there telling me what I needed to do. Yes, I was being guided on what to say.

After hearing what I to say and to whom, , I tried to do so, but it didn't come out clearly. It didn’t make sense as to ‘why’ I was to speak to a new person in recovery, because I didn’t know the person and he didn’t ask my opinion nor did he even ask for help. I was directed to try it again with someone else. This time it came out more clearly. As in ‘real’ life (physical life), what I learn usually precedes my ability to articulate it, unless I can get out of my own way enough to speak straight from the Spirit.

Back back to the dream. After the second rendition coming out OK, I was sitting at a bench, still thinking of how to put the speech together. A lake was nearby, which relevance I have no idea about. A number of people were walking by me, some looking at me, some not. That's when my Friend Tom came to walk by me; he stopped and stared at me. He was surprised to see me there, like "How can you even be here" sort of a look. Tom is in the After World.

Tom looked different like he was both who he was before operations and who he was afterward, both at once (if you know what I mean). Don't know how to say it better.

Then I woke up and talked about the dream with Tricia over coffee. After I described the dream, she said she heard a voice tell her, ‘You can’t be here. You’re dead.’ Not sure I quoted her right, but she said she knew what I was going to talk about before I told her. Those words are like the look Tom gave me.

So what topic am I supposed to talk about? Connectivity and Respect. We are all connected, like every person, place or thing we come into contact with, becomes a part of us and vice-versa. Everything serves a purpose. Even self-sabotage serves a purpose, in that if we can be our own worst enemy, doesn’t it prove we can also be our own best friend? Every shadow has a light. Resentments are the unseen or shadow side of the coin and the light side is gratitude. But as St. John of the Cross pointed out, the Ray of Darkness is possible in The Dark Night of the Soul. When we are grateful for the entirety of our life experiences, even as formerly incarcerated persons, then the time we served begins to serve us. Remember what Goethe said the real prisons are self-imposed and C.S. Lewis said the door to hell is only opened from the inside.

So I'm putting this speech together and if you happen to have actually read this, I’m respectfully asking for your prayers.

Actually two speeches are coming up, one for treatment center folks this Saturday and one for Toastmasters on Monday evening (the one I prayed for). Maybe I’ll touch on parts of the second speech in the first one?

Thanks for your prayers, intentions and positive energy!

Michigan Lawmaker Dies in Apparent Suicide after Drunk Driving Arrest

At the conclusion of this Blog Post is a YouTube Video about the Lawmaker who killed himself. We need to start Grief Groups for offenders. I’ve been saying this for years. Upon hearing of his suicide on YouTube, here's what some people said:

"Nice to hear a swamp rat self terminating."

"GREAT GUY? GREAT GUY? MEMORIES THEY SHARED? Typical politicians, good friends, all drunks."

"WHAT A WEAKLING!!!!" "Hell he was. A damn drunk"

"Boo Hoo"

My thoughts: Celebrating suicide? No wonder they call it Alcoholic's "Anonymous."

MADD has Grief Groups for Victims, but nothing for Offenders who are suicidal over injuring someone or worse, killing them. It seems CRUELTY has become the National Religion. For me, the starting point is love and what follows forgiveness.

I know two women who both lost their son to an impaired driver. Both forgave the offender and said they love him. One of them said we need to forgive, regardless of the temperature of our hearts, and that no one has a right to be a barrier to a fellow human being who wants to get well." Great Role Model! It is not a lack of loyalty to our loved-ones who passed or some type of aberrant permission of wrongdoing to forgive. Grief takes its own road and it takes as long as it takes. Just don't let grief kill your hearts.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean. Truth without compassion is cruelty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr8DBzHbfSk