The Truth May Set You Free, but You Might Get Locked Up for Telling It.

I was in a mental hospital for the Criminally Insane in Missouri (Biggs) for Evaluation. They let me go after a couple of weeks. They sent me to Biggs for Eval. They thought I was trying to beat the case on an insanity defense. I drove under the influence and had a dream/premonition about it and told a cop.

I have story upon story of how abuse permeates the system. Here's just one:

I saw staff treating human beings despicably in Biggs. An elderly male patient "punched" an orderly. The Thorazine Shuffle "punch" was so drugged-up, and the patient was so old, his 'punch' would not have harmed a kitten.

They wrestled the patient to his room.  I was amazed to see the orderly break a needle off on the wall in the man's room and puncture his leg to inject a 'calming' med. The man cried in pain when it happened, puncturing my heart with compassion.  They didn't even bother to shut his door entirely, so I stood there watching them hogpile him. The orderly saw me looking and gave me an aggressive look like, 'if you say anything, you're toast'! I never told anyone, but I saw how dehumanized people were treated.

We can't win this one from the inside. No one cares, and no one believes someone who is mentally ill, traumatized, etc. when they speak out. If staff speak out, they risk much, too.  Most people in prison suffered trauma in their youth, but they call it an "excuse" when it's pointed out.

I would probably get arrested if I wrote a book about all the shit I've seen or know about.

https://allpoetry.com/poem/6468-The-Corruptional-Facility-by-Timothy-Cameron

Four Horsemen of the Non-Apocalypse (Serenity, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom)

Serenity, Acceptance, Courage (AKA Willingness) and Wisdom is a gift (it's a package deal, therefore, "is" is appropo).  
God, 
GRANT
me the
Serenity to
Accept
 the things I cannot change, the
Courage
 to Change the things I can, and the
Wisdom
 to know the difference.

"We intuitively know things which used to baffle us."

It’s Not Illegal to Be Crazy; It’s Only Illegal to Act Crazy

Jean-Paul Sartre penned, “Hell is other people.”  I thought, “What’s he talkin’ about?  I love people and do not consider people “hell.”  I summarily dismissed his words.   While I believe it is essential to have the courage of one’s convictions, I think it is imperative to question one’s convictions.  There’s always more freedom in a question than in its answer.  So, I forced myself to suspend my belief system and examine his proposition open-mindedly and in so doing, reinvented my perception.  

Let’s examine the very words we might use to either trap or free us and take a snapshot of our legalese, namely, the adversarial system and its language.  When someone's branded a perpetrator, it’s easier to call them a monster, or Inhuman, to demonize them.  We do this in religion, politics, social strata and even regarding race.  On a more subtle level, this demonization comes in gentler phraseology, such as, “Them” or “These People,” as if there is not a potential or capacity to harm others is present in every one of us. 

Fortunately for everyone, very few of us act on thoughts we have when we’re angry or upset.  It’s not illegal to be crazy; it’s only illegal to act crazy.  But some of us have mugshots to prove we were behaving crazy.  I do, but I am more than my mugshot.  Though we might get booked and photographed by the police, we are more than our mugshots.  We should not define ourselves or “others” by our worst moments.  According to Attorney Emily Baxter, “We are all criminals,” or at least would have been had we been caught. All I can say is, “Thank God life isn't fair” because if it were fair, many of us would be in serious trouble right now.

Every country and culture packages and produces both violence and forgiveness. If we fail to recognize the underlying humanity of those who commit violence, how can we ever hope to change it? And how can we empower survivors to transcend tragedy if we are ripening a victim’s ability to feel ‘less than.” Why enable safe harbor to staying at the victim stage?  Forgiveness is an inside job.  We forgive not because the offender deserves forgiveness, but because we deserve peace.  Forgiveness exorcises the demon and relieves the perpetrator of its brand; the forgiver finds peace.  Fail to forgive, and the beast stays with the victim in a self-made prison of relationship. 

When a victim owns the responsibility of being a victim, they take their power back. Victimhood sheds its snakelike skin against the rocks of compassion, which is, ironically provided by those who have “dropped the rock.”  When an offender takes ownership of their offense, they release the culprit status of self-made guilt & self-pity, which paradoxically represents another form of victimhood.  We need to hang up the blamethrower. 

The world is addicted to judgment, and lack of mercy is a global contagion.  Stop defining yourself and others by one's worst moments.  We need to stop absorbing into our Collective Consciousness stories which don't empower us.   Run a spiritual virus scan on yourself and then purge the virus from your system.  For this writer, God is the oxygen in forgiveness. 

In a search for distillation of wisdom, I was touring a graveyard reading tombstones, hoping to find a lifetime of experience all rolled into a word or sentence.  On an obelisk, I read, “The sins of our brothers we write in sand, but their virtues we carve in granite.” 

“Hell is other people.”  I focused on the word, “other.”  Ah yes, it became apparent what Sartre might have meant.  Other races, other religions, other political parties, other orientations, other classes, and the myriad of “other” Us/Them scenarios.  Quit spending time thinking about things you don’t like or don’t want. ‘Look for the Good’ in any given person, place or thing, and you’ll find it.   

Changing Conversations Inside Our Heads

Changing conversations inside of my head is something I've done since I was a young person. All day long, every day, I'm subject to rehearse a speech in my mind. Over and over and over again I prepare my speeches, hone ideas, polish my feelings and do my best to incorporate the feelings of any given future audience in this process. I have to strip resentments from my consciousness, dissolve negative conversations and their import from my desire to deliver a powerful presentation. Gratitude brings me into a harmonious relationship with the good in everyone that surrounds me in my perception. Always hold the energy of surrender in any given endeavor. I am in charge of what I say, the audience is in charge of what they hear. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. So a surrendered teacher merges with a surrendered student, and the space of surrender is filled with love. Acceptance is a gift.

Messengers and Messages

We all grow up and are always growing up, I suppose.  Kinda like recovered/recovering.  But what messages have you heard that either empowered you to rise above your difficulties and what messages have you heard to the contrary, and what do you do with these messages?  

You ever have one of those periods where you realize you are not worth a shit to yourself or anyone else?  I have heard that many times in my life.  I've also heard that I've done nothing but destroy lives.  I believe it sometimes, today being one of those times.  I have asked many an audience to tell at least three people a day that they love them, but best that I can tell, no one has done it.  That's OK because the message was delivered, even if the courage to carry it out was lacking.  

So today I feel like my life has amounted to nothing good.  People buy my book out of sympathy at best, while most ignore the message.  I'm just the messenger, but I'm also just human with a long history of being talked down to, verbally abuse and the people I love being dishonest with me, even though I am totally OK with loving them regardless of their shortcomings.  I believe most dishonest is not dishonest (sounds contradictory) but is rather an act of distrust.  I put my heart out there through poetry, Blogging, speaking, doing acts of kindness when I can, yet feel my life is hopeless.  No one will ever love me.  I'm too broken or something, I don't know.  

So if anyone reads this, please don't say anything on Facebook to comfort me.  I figure no one reads my Blog, anyway, so I don't need to say this, but on the random chance God inspires someone to read this, I ask that you PM or text me rather than say anything on Facebook.  I've asked God for wisdom and strength, whatever that means.  I'm still here for a reason.

I put two lidocaine patches on and am going to go drive if I can handle it.

 

GENETIC LEGACIESA

We are more than higher mathematics and the manipulation its comprehension benefits "us".

I still hear it argued that IQ & physical and mental health gene pools can be a gene pool problem, decipherable by in vitro processing to promote ‘human flourishing’. Biotechnology has the potential to promote more than human potential. Like any dictator, it can be malevolent or benevolent, a technological nightmarish apocalyptic undermiracle, or a rise of the Titans to destroy the gods of science. Embryo selection and the profilers that identify desirable traits serve the selector, like the Bureau of Prisons feeding the Department of Justice who is paid to correct the correctors. Maybe the legacies of Atlantis hiding in the gene pool of all humanity or not, but who gets to decide? The elimination of hereditary diseases is attractive? Sparta did this in theory, by casting all of the non-blonde, non-blue-eyed babies to their fate in ravines (to free the gene pool of lesser taints). It’s an interminable slippery slope that hides like an egoic infection in the intellects of the ‘masters of the universe’.

In any given family, sibling IQ rates rarely differ more than 15 points, and the Guinness book of world records show the highest IQ’s come from two persons with high IQ’s having offspring. Yet, we don’t have Atlantis purifying and directing our evolution, nor have we abolished slavery, genderism, sex-trafficking, addiction, and the other vices plaguing humanity.

Compassion, if it can be bred, should be inculcated from the desire to evolve, and not vice-versa.  Maybe there is one difference between folks with high IQ's and those without such privilege, is people with privilege 'get away with' their crimes of non-compassion.

Teen Suicide SOULutions (Give Peace a Chance)

I know what it's like to be a teen trying to decide whether to live or commit suicide. 

At 16-years old, I was ready to kill myself rather than hear and feel glass cutting my mind and feeling the blood oozing from each cut.  As I experienced my mind as a battlefield, I was exhausted from seeing Hitler beckon me to hell, ready to give up after first seeing baseballs and later knives and long shards of glass flying at my face when I closed my eyes to sleep, and more.

At death's last disputed barricade, I in final, silent desperation cried, "God, if you're real, please help!"  

I then heard three gentle words say, "Rest, My Child." 

I immediately fell into a peaceful sleep, free of the torment that held me in insomniac terror. 

Before those words entered my spirit mind, I had little sleep in a long while, with sleeplessness stealing my last reserves over 72-hours.  It was literally impossible to sleep, to find any peace, and I was willing to die rather than experience any more torment.

For me, it's hard to fathom why so few of us are willing to ask if God is real or to ask for help.  Our best thinking got us into these incurable messes and 'thinking' our way out with the mind that got us there was a little unlikely.  

For details of this story, look for the chapter of my book that says, "Rest, My Child."  

Here's the link to my book of miracles.  Give peace a chance: 

www.amazon.com/dp/1544058721/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

Each Day a New Beginning, by Karen Casey

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/946673.Each_Day_a_New_Beginning" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px"><img border="0" alt="Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women (Hazelden Meditations)" src="https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1391341888m/946673.jpg" /></a><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/946673.Each_Day_a_New_Beginning">Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women</a> by <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/113125.Karen_Casey">Karen Casey</a><br/>
My rating: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2125838749">5 of 5 stars</a><br /><br />
Funny thing is, this book was gifted to me by a man in 1990 who didn't realize it was written for women. It took me a year before realizing it myself! I laughed out loud the day I realized it! I did notice it had a lot of mentions that I thought were bit tilted toward females, but I just went with the flow. This was one of the best books I ever read that helped me to see and deal with my issues in life in a way I understood. Maybe it fed my Feminine Side, I don't know. But I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to grow. Karen Casey is a woman highly blessed by our Creator to bring Higher Messages to a world needing Love.
<br/><br/>
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/7705929-timothy-g">View all my reviews</a>
 

The JOURNEY Self-Acceptance

Taking risks in a spirit of self-acceptance is a beautifully peaceful lifetime option available to everyone.  A peace that surpasses ALL understanding awaits us at the door upon which we knock with complete surrender, forgetting everything we think we know and abandoning ourselves to Complete Trust that Our Creator has our backs, no matter what!  No one has to "earn our trust" in this field of surrender, for if it were true trust must be earned, that surrender space would be occupied or displaced by trying to impose harmony or force solutions.  

Looking for Solutions that Need Problems to Solve

Funny, last night in a group, when asked I had had any difficulties I cared to share, I couldn't think of anything to report in my life that I hadn't turned over. It was like nothing in my life could be "wrong", that I couldn't be off of my Sacred Path, no matter what. While I am aware I screw up daily, think something stupid or whatever, I also forgive myself and others to the best of my ability and let go of the rest.

Anyway, last night, someone thought I was being arrogant or narcissistic when I shared a happiness report. It reminded me of the day I finally loved myself after looking in the mirror daily (for 8 years!), saying, "Timothy, I love you!" and I MEANT IT! EIGHT YEARS OF HARD WORK! After I shared my happiness and how it happened ("Mirror Therapy"), someone asked me, sarcastically, "What!? Are you gonna KISS YOURSELF, TOO?!" To her credit, two years later, she apologized for that comment. But I was not offended when she said it.

You know that "Happy Place" you get when nothing is wrong with the world, the place where no one can steal your joy because you're just too friggin' overjoyed? Well, that's where I was. I didn't feel hurt or offended, and I knew she just didn't understand.

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, it will always materialize if one works for it.  Last night I didn't feel overjoyed, but I couldn't think anything could be wrong with my life, either.  Maybe I'll think differently tomorrow, but today, sufficient is that number of problems I don't multiply by looking for solutions that require a problem to solve.  

 

“You must be like me; you must suffer in rhythm.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

Quit calling me a White Man, please. In fact, no need to call me a man at all. Don't call me straight of gay, left wing or right wing, Christian or Muslim, American or One Worlder, etc.

God only sees the Heart of an Atheist or anyone else for that matter and doesn't send that person to hell because they don't subscribe to a belief in God. God, if there is a God, doesn't need the human mind to defend God or promote God. If there is a God, it's God's Job to reveal God. Everything else is just human separation.  Can you do a better job with God than God?  Maybe YOU should sit on the throne in the end days to prove it, eh?

So, forget the men's groups/women's group Gender Centrists, lawyers' AA, Pilot's AA, Judges' AA, or whatever group of victims 'special interest' Glass House groups that are hiding their superiority complex with self-justification.

If you want to end racism, stop talking about it! Stop talking about the problem/solution matrix, because every solution needs a problem to be solved. Solutions keep the issue alive and well; it keeps it fed. Solutions are the 'bread n' butter' of the lobbying industry. Activist needs more money to perpetuate more activism and becomes an endless cycle. Churches or any organization that exists to "fight" something, risks “being joined at the hip” against the thing with which they struggle.

Antiracists place more emphasis on racism than it can do for itself. The Big Book reads, "...and we quit fighting everything and everybody...", which I find as the most powerfully profound words in the book.

Script(ure) reads, "In the household of Christ, there is no male or female, Jew or Gentile, Slave or Master..." It is also written, "Call no man Master."

In the beginning was the Word and if we stay focused, we are but an echo or mirror of that Word. 'The beginning and the end' all rest in the Word. What we do for ourselves (ME) is transitory, but what we do for others (WE) is eternal, but only as long as "others" means EVERYBODY.

It would be easy to stop talking now, but for those few people still having the tenacity or courage to read this far, I'll continue.  I’m writing in a vacuum now, most likely, which might save me from judgment.

To the so-called 'black' individuals who threw gasoline on a so-called white man, and then laughed as the human being ran screaming in agony, this is NOT an excuse for me to become racist.  To the so-called "white" individuals who lynched so-called black people, and the so-called 'Black on white crime statistics and rape' is NOT a reason to become racist or sexist (the KKK and Nazi's use these stats to anger people into their pool of hatred). 

When an inmate kills a guard or vice-versa, it is not justification to hate guards or inmates (and I know of it going both ways, having been in prison).  Crips kill Bloods and vice-versa; Jews killing Muslims and vice-versa; Christians killing Muslims and vice-versa; Catholics killing Freemasons in Ireland and vice-versa.  Extreme right or left wingers killing one another (and anyone who gets in the way), and the war goes on ad nauseam.

Whether we hate someone who doesn't look like or believe like us or hate someone who 'cuts us off in traffic' or butts in line or doesn't respect us, it's all just bullshit ego games to hate.  Hatred in the human heart, whatever we hate, is just plain ugly.  Hate doesn't discriminate. 

Love One Another, for God, is Love.  LOVE is my religion, and it is not inclusive nor exclusive.  Rather, it is a Union of Polarities. 

Live and let live, even though the truth might set you free, but it also might piss you off first.

Just call me Timothy or just smile when you see or feel me, end of story.

https://youtu.be/ksRB4faMU7o

Greatest Thing the World Never Saw

Some people think the greatest people in the world weere: Gandhi, Rumi, Black Elk, St. Francis of Assisi, Beatrice Webb, John Howard Griffin, Günther Walraff, Patricia Moore, Jimmy Carter, Bob Marley, Helen Mirren, MLK Junior, Sister Teresa, Helen Keller, Dalai Lama, Amma the Hugging Saint, Leonardo Di Vinci, Jean-Paul Sartre, Muhammad Ali, Billie Holiday, Emily Dickinson, Mozart, Saint Teresa of Ávila, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Malala Yousafzai, Walt Whitman, or even Lassie or Rin Tin Tin, etc.

But really, maybe the unnamed 'greatest thing the world never saw', was the kind, compassionate soul who held these beautiful souls' hands as children!

The hand-holders helped them find deep treasures of human beauty that would one day inspire the rest of us.

Small acts of kindness are eternal. Be kind. You never know whose life you might touch for future generations.

I love you.  You are beautiful. Pass it on.  Namaste.

Between the Dark & the Light

Excavating the Shadow Side of our existence with the Light Side of ourselves is paradoxically relevant because, without light, there can be no shadows. The Ray of Darkness surrendered, like waves under a new moon, cast sound like an echo in the noonday sun. Until we finally understand the part of us that attacks the 'other' part of ourselves, we will never love the entirety of ourselves.

We talk about unconditional love for others but do we forgive ourselves through empowering others? If you wanna keep it, you gotta give it away. Fundraising for Billionaires is what we do for those people too impersonal to understand. Spending OUR time on their corporate ventures invalidates our lives UNLESS we aim toward empowering the dance between life and death, the light and the dark, the sun and the moon, etc. Do your work, be thankful for EVERYTHING and DANCE! Who dances without music?

Mystical transmission in sound is why it's so important to take music baths. Loving pets that purr or bark happiness is a music, too.

Take refuge in the dance of your creation.