What does this mean?

And if a man also strive for masteries, yet is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully.

The Recovery Party

A political activist friend of mine, Randy Anderson, talked about “The Recovery Party” on Facebook. While it was more of a social-marketing thing for those in recovery to get behind opioid addiction issues, restore voting for ex-felons, and to create unity on these and other topics, I see potential in it like a real party. Why not? There’s a Green Party, right?

THE RECOVERY PARTY. A Party that puts principles above personalities. A Party where people don't get distracted by 'outside issues (RACE, GENDER, RELIGION OR NO RELIGION, ORIENTATION, PROPERTY AND PRESTIGE MATTER…ALL MATTER NOT ONE IOTA)'.

A Party Platform that reads, "Everyone has a Voice."

A Party where the only requirement for Membership is a desire to love one another, a Party that sees the good as the starting point of change, rather than mud-slinging.

If you believe in these ideals and practical realities, YOU got MY vote! I would even quit voting for not voting over the creation of this Party!

Legal Forgiveness

By law in Minnesota, patients in many treatment centers are just that, "Patients." They are legally deemed, "Vulnerable Adults" and understandably so. But what occurs to me is WHY what people DO when they are "Vulnerable Adults", that is, what they did 'under the influence" of what made them 'Vulnerable" is not set aside legally once they get well?

Do my thoughts make sense, or am I missing something obvious? Legalizing meaningful forgiveness based on being 'offense free' for let's say, ten years?

Yeah, let's do that.

I’m heading to the State Capitol today for a meeting on Redemption Day issues, voting and Automatic Expungement being discussed.

In the photograph, I was getting ready to speak with Prison Staff at MCF-Redwing about Restorative Justice. I’m glad some people allow change and know it’s real.

THE Multidisciplinary Union of Polarities in Recovery, The Minority Opinion, and the Essence of ‘A WE Program’.

This article I am writing in response to a woman who wrote about how A.A. is of questionable value to her and women generally. She tenders that A.A. is a men’s club. So, I’m taking her general contention and counterbalancing it. I am not saying she was or is wrong or right because, indeed, she’s not.  Everyone's perspective is valuable to me. I might not agree with someone, but I will stand up and fight for their right to say it.

For me, it’s important to remember that we, to stay sober, quit fighting everything and everybody.  I am typical of the Minority Opinion, and here follows no exception.

I got sober in August 1990. It took me about 19-years of self-induced torture (13 ½ years of jails and prison and more years of resentments) to finally acquire total abstinence from my DOC (Drug Of Choice) alcohol to the auspices of A.A.

Yes, I attended and still attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. When I first sobered up, I didn’t merely do the suggested ‘90 meetings in 90 days’, but instead, I attended 1 to 3 meetings a day for 18 months.  I decided I needed to take this path rather than treatment, probably because I was too arrogant to follow directions.  In A.A., it’s all about free will, making our own decisions, and taking our power back after being honest about powerlessness. I didn’t have a Sponsor, though I tried to have one, my history made my “Temporary Sponsors” very uncomfortable with me, AKA, Judgmental.  I used to be racist, which was their most challenging hurdle with me. 

But the Fellowship at large was NOT judgmental. I loved that they were not Patriarchal, Matriarchal, minimally Genderist (there were a plethora of Women’s meetings and a few Men’s meetings), or Racist. Sure, you’re wondering why a racist liked a non-racist environment?  It was a relief to let my guard down. A.A. was the only place I had ever been that exactly allowed EVERYONE to be who they are.  That was why it was welcomed by me.  Sure, it took some years to heal from racism, but I did, ODAAT (One Day At A Time). 

Back to my roots in A.A.:  They didn’t care about what religion or lack thereof I held.  They were not exclusive to politics left or right, never cared if I was straight or gay, and they didn’t even care if I was an Ex-con.   They also were not out for my body or money.  I was indigent, and no one was asking me for sexual favors, directly or indirectly, not that I could tell.  My focus on recovery was so strong, I probably wouldn’t have noticed if they were. I sometimes think it takes a sick mind to notice a sick mind.

I didn’t work the steps in any classical sense. It took me about eight years to get honest OUT LOUD about my worst acts which is what happens in a ‘5th Step.’  No one could or wanted to MAKE ME do anything.  On my first day in a meeting, I heard a few things that settled my soul:  1) “Take what you like and leave the rest.”  2)  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.”  3)  That the critical purpose for A.A. was to help the “still suffering Alcoholic.”  Most importantly, I wasn’t “required” to enumerate my character defects and nor forced to work on eliminating them. Instead, I heard that there is ‘One who has all power, that One is God’, which to me, translated into GOD eliminating my character defects.  I didn’t buy into the idea that escapism, an oversized ego, and lack of humility were the principal causes of any conscious desire to numb thoughts and feelings with alcohol.  The Big Book reads that we ‘were not drinking to escape,’ and indeed, this was true for me.  If I was drinking to escape, then it meant I was drinking to escape into hell. 

Fortunately, in A.A., there is zero status quo.  While sometimes it was mentioned that any given person was not going to stay sober because they were not working the Steps, there was no requirement to ‘work’ the Steps.  There is no one to blame in A.A., so 'taking recovery seriously' was always deemed an ‘inside job’ of willingness to go to any lengths.  To me, ‘any lengths’ meant being adaptable, 100%. I wasn’t surprised by anything in A.A. Nor was I overly fearful; as a result of my ability for adaptation, I was metaphorically Born Free from my willingness to go to any lengths.

Adaptation is not usually an attribute fueling an Alcoholic’s life, at least not in terms of cooperation.  Participation and ‘life on life’s terms’ in and out of A.A. is useful, as we ‘practice these principles in all of our affairs.’  There are many paths to recovery, and A.A. is not the only effective way to stop drinking; however, willingness is indispensable.  No brainwashing exists to believe that refuting or even questioning A.A. is proof of or somehow demonstrates one is “in denial.”  I was always free to question any of the principles espoused in the A.A. program. One of the things I like best about A.A. is that questioning authority was acceptable.

Being in the minority opinion and not being discriminated against over it is built into the healthy functioning of Alcoholics Anonymous (see the Concepts and Traditions).

The truth is, A.A. became the foundation of global recovery because it is available with everyone in mind. Alcohol doesn't discriminate, nor does A.A. It’s a framework created by Spiritual Guidance in the 1930s through but not “by” upper-middle-class white Protestant males to help people like themselves (hopeless low-bottom drunks who lost everything to drinking) to overcome addiction. Its founders believed the root of alcoholism was not just alcohol itself. The real problem was a ‘thinking problem,’ and that drinking was just a symptom thereof — alcohols’ effect on thinking further contaminated the thinking problem, so abstinence was considered a necessity.  A mammoth ego resulting from an entitled sense of unquestioned authority probably could be best described as someone having an unparalleled inferiority complex. The saying is that one is ‘an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.’

A.A. was a miracle for those who, until then, had nowhere to turn for help. It was radical in that it was free, and an ethos of service fueled it. ‘If you wanna keep it, you gotta give it away.’ The inculcation of the atheist’s influence was responsible for the language in the Third Step of Alcoholics Anonymous. Founders voted and decided that the 3rd Step would give preference and precedents to the idea that a person could have a God of their understanding. The Big Book “Chapter to the Agnostic” is, in my opinion, the most spiritual chapter in the entire Big Book.

Sure, it is arguable that A.A. grew out of a fundamentalist Christian organization, the Oxford Group. As a result, it is undergirded by the same belief system that asserts Eve grew from Adam’s rib. But that would be a dismal and prejudicial judgment to immerse oneself in this sort of negativity. In fact, it even sounds like a victim mentality ripe with resentment to even ’go there.’ Taking apart the creation story is not relevant, any more than it’s pertinent to say that Satan was a male. We must hang up the blamethrower mentality entirely and remember that it is a fellowship of equals and nothing less. Resentment is the number one offender and leads more people back to the bottle than any other single problem.

The values baked into its Steps, Traditions, and Concepts continue to shape the way the organization works in an evolutionary sense in that it is continuously reviewed and voted upon as to its application.  For historical purposes, the Big Book has kept its cultural language intact, and it does often reflect “Him” concerning God and humans generally being “he.”  The Big Book is undoubtedly not the only existing tome to do this.  I don’t perceive God has a male or female form by necessity, yet I don’t have a problem with seeing creation as being an extension of God as I understand God. Being made in God’s image is a concept that doesn’t bother me, but I also don’t care if anyone else believes in that are not. 

A.A. is not a patriarchal or matriarchal society, and in my opinion, having a men’s group or a women’s group is an outside issue that I believe falls under the “Live and Let Live’ slogan. Any ‘echoes’ of the ways men and women are expected to blame themselves and are encouraged to follow instructions and fall into line in a Patriarchal or Matriarchal society is a victim mentality that will slowly work its way out of the A.A. program as society evolves.

Participants are NOT expected to accept the tenets of A.A. without question.  There is a common refrain that the program “works if you work it, and it sucks if you don’t,” but what that means to any given one person is entirely in their own hands. In other words, one is always free to ask questions, and any failure is not anyone’s fault. The 12 Steps include things like 'admitting powerlessness' as the means to getting one’s power back, turning one’s will over to the care of God as one understands God (even if it’s just GOD ‘Good Orderly Direction’) is encouraged. Writing down and cataloging one’s defects of character and saying them out loud to a trusted person to eliminate self-recrimination and grow along spiritual lines, asking God to remove those defects and making direct amends for any wrongdoing except when to do so would injure them or others.

This Program, which was and is designed to break down a sense of entitlement, and made sense to the original members: It reminded them that they were not God and encouraged them to humble themselves, to admit their weaknesses, to shut up and listen. Perhaps these were much-needed messages when it came to the Program’s original intended audience and still holds true today. (Keep in mind, A.A. came about approximately ten years after women’s suffrage, at the height of the eugenics movement and 30 years before the dismantling of Jim Crow, but let’s also bear in mind that where there is a human, there will also be strengths and weaknesses. Racism, genderism, political favoritism, abuse of religion, etc.  have been and always will be present as long as there are human beings.  But for every act of cruelty, there is an act of peace, Love, and forgiveness to counterbalance it.)  Speaking strictly for myself, I believe that God is Love, and Love is the only thing that doesn’t have an opposite. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of money to be made in pandering to victim mentalities of a wide variety, but I hope we can all rise above this temptation.

But today’s women (nor women of any era) have needed to be broken down or told to be quiet, (in or out of A.A.).  Such things again are and “outside issue.” Everyone has a right to their Voice, and where someone does not have a Voice, there will I go speaking or writing. Some people chronically worry that any given program that tells us & them to renounce power that we have never had poses the threat of making us sicker.  I’ll go back to the idea that it takes a sick mind to notice a sick mind. It takes a healed mind to heal a mind. Hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people. Let’s have the kind of spiritual awareness that notices the good in ourselves and others. This is the grand starting point of every movement for healing.

I came into the awareness that I was an alcoholic. Submitting to ‘rules’ of A.A. (or any other organization) was not what I needed or desired.  You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can always tell an alcoholic, you just can’t tell him much!” 

The reason I liked A.A. is that they weren’t imposing rules upon me. Instead, I studied a combination of disciplines existing to augment recovery. As I studied the Big Book, I recognized the echoes of many Greek philosophers and world philosophers and even some of the concepts of Buddhism therein. I didn’t see the Big Book as merely an endless dialogue in churchianity’s diatribe. Instead, I focused on developing God-Esteem and Self-Esteem in balance. I used my free agency and conscience as an ever-present energizing agent for evolution. I learned to exercise constant compassion to be "The More Loving One." I utilized self-nurturing and reclamation of the agency I’d given up through the medium of alcoholism and continued to enjoy being happy and free as I trudged the chosen road of happy destiny.

To be sure, A.A. works for many people, and has innumerable lives. I don’t want to see it dismantled or disparaged or to discourage anyone from trying it out — I want more people to recognize A.A. doesn’t pretend it’s everyone’s answer to alcoholism. I think “evidence-based therapies” are today’s fad and will be tomorrow’s learning experience. There are many other evidence-based options available now — from medically assisted treatments (I have worked in several treatment settings to help people through the years) to cognitive behavioral therapy to the emerging use of psychedelics, including psilocybin. I sometimes wonder if Bill Wilson’s use of LSD impacted his spiritual connection to God as he understood God.

The real point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines, and not having a box to think outside of is genuinely liberating. In God’s Economy, nothing is wasted.  All roads lead from and to my Higher Power as I understand my Higher Power.

The antidote to my drinking problem was learning it was safe to trust myself through my reliance and relationship with a Higher Power. I thereby developed a sense of ‘confidence without conceit.’ I learned to 'auto-reject' my victim-mentality- ‘humility’ (that so many of us have been conditioned to embrace).

I also turned a critical but not cynical eye on the society that helps keep us sick in the first place.  Sure, it's illegal to drive impaired, but bars have parking lots. But does that matter? What do societies' ills have to do with our freedom to be happy, joyous, and free? No one has a right to be an obstacle to a fellow human being getting well, notwithstanding any philosophical discrepancies. Another way of saying this is,” I am more than my mug shot.”

So, as I draw close to my summation, I will say that the antidote to my drinking problem looked nothing like racism, genderism, politics, and religion.  Every “ISM” is a toxic resentment. Let's decapitalize 'ISM'S' and avoid the 'isms' like the plague.  ‘Ism’s” have, in my perception, acquired NO foothold in terms of who can or cannot find help with alcoholism in or out of A.A.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we can always use what happened to us to help others.  Burn it into the consciousness of every human being that we can get well regardless of anyone or anything. A.A. is a We Program, ‘We’ being you, me, and God.

symptomofwe

when I write a new poem, I proudly present it like a newborn baby. most of the time later, after rereading it and knowing no one liked it, I wondered ‘what was i thinking?” but truth be told, if we don’t be ourselves, no one will have a chance to like the real us, anyway? being liked for who i’m not? yeah, I’ll pass on that.

here’s my newborn baby, the reason of the heart, my symptomofwe:

symptomofwe

you can feel me now

because I’m in love with your love;

our big swirling black clouds demystifies

dissipates bragging.

i’m not fooled by pretty, expressive, faces,

because i really love them,

for expression is everything.

inside-out

turning like most people

turning

turn

inside-out

i want to be respected,

loved,

to transform spirits to shine so brightly, that

there’s no tomorrow or yesterday worth knowing.

when I write

i feel alone

less alone and then

together.

you know what it means when

no matter what it reads like, we

always write with all our singular heart.

this is how you bring the best rest out of me,

the best from you,

into the best called we.

there’s a difference in writing poems

at

people;

but writing

to

someone is everybody’s business.

i’ve always been an emotional overachiever,

unable to yield to this world in con-plicated tones, for

swimming in this river of love requires drowning in writing,

and

reincorporealizing into non-words of solid-ish substances,

extemporizing experiences;

so, in poetry, we die and are

bornbothatonce

drawing our sacredbreath

of

nonjealousy

in

symptomofwe

Treasonous Love

Someone recently wrote that the penalty for treason is death and that if we don’t like it, change it and to quit whining about that writer’s desire to have an unnamed U.S. Representative hanged by the neck until dead. He said we have to do what’s good for America and kill this person and that the laws of the land support his POV.

'Love and forgiveness' is good for America, isn’t it? Legal lynchings, controlled hatred, is what extremists do to justify reprehensible behavior. I get the IDEA of changing a law because I disagree with it, but death can't be reversed after we've grown a conscience. Treason is a big word for little offenses when seen over time. Some people are saying Trump is Treasonous. Some said the same for Obama, Clinton, and whoever else they didn't like, HISTORICALLY here and abroad. People that win wars (political or religious) get to write the history books.

I understand that we are all doing the best we can to make our world safe, but safe for who? Love your enemies, turn the other cheek, if they ask for your shirt, give them your coat, too. Can, or do any of us do these things? I try but fall short. Such a puzzle for me.

Some say Make America Great Again, others say Make God Great Again. Some say nationalism and religion are the bastions for weak and fear-laden minds. Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love others as yourself.

Every law and prophet hangs upon this truth, for God is Love.

My difficulty is simple: if I love someone, I will admittedly defend them in the heat of the moment (like a child being attacked by a dog), and I see no need to 'turn the other cheek' to a pit bull chewing on my leg (God forbid). How is a pit bulls and an Extremists any different on from another? Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Let the dead bury the dead. 'Live and let live' and 'die and let die' and equals. For me, I am not smart enough to know what to do. God help us all.

sircuss of gone

Thinking outside of the casket
"we’ve always done things this way."
blending with the blame,
because I’m insane.

will you wash your hands at the thought of shaking mine?
in the curved mirror of desperate desire, we taxied,
born from the storm
of lies and minds hearing only what they don’t like & believe;
hearing the pounding deconstruction of intangible bridges(?)

remembering darkness, satin clouds
seeping alone cleaning slates, invisible going.
thunder thinks it knows what rolls

mixed up

Oasis of Soundlessness

pretty smiles hiding behind beautiful moments of sadtitude,
mistaking pain for beauty,
the raw power of attitude
so tired i don’t sleep
or weep
can you help me remember who i am?
my life, my time

gone

now, here so gone, so far gone is unkindness from me
so cold to not even complain
you are
not
me
i saw a not guilty quilt, a poem sewn thereon, a wife musing her missing husband,
SAYING
SOME MEN ARE TOO GENTLE TO LIVE AMONG WOLVES

but wolves have purpose
like capitalizations in poetry
and capitol cities feeding on fearing starvation
feeding hunger

i still feel you here hungers

another year
fading
clear of
me
dreaming about everything
'as if'
it’s all about me

i

Digging In Our Heels or 'Diggin' in Our HEALS?

Remember the saying that it’s easy to ‘dig up the dirt’ on someone or something, but to rather ‘be the one’ who looks for the gold?

Pains, Reigns, and Praxiteles

I recently watched an interview, and old one, of a Hell’s Angel and a man who wrote a book about them. Interesting YouTube video. What took me aback was the reactions to sexism and violence. https://youtu.be/ccyu44rsaZo

It was amazing to see people CLAP to hearing that a man (Hell’s Angel) says a man has to whip 'his' woman's ass once in a while. Even women were laughing and clapping at some of the other expressions of brutality, too.

While I’m quite glad ‘times are changin’, it seems obvious the HA’s comments were just a reflection of the era, albeit the darker reflection, as evidenced by the crowd's reactions and the interviewer's enabling of such misery. Some men in the audience looked shocked at the idea of justifying beating a female.

Fast Forward: I bet many people STILL think beating men or women is OK if they feel like it. Not much has changed, if some of the men commenting on the YouTube Video are real and not just trying to get people inflamed.

The good news is that people are starting to step forward and say enough is enough.

Once we get past the victim-mentality BS Culture of Blame so prevalent today, we can flip-the-script and take OUR power back.

Interestingly, I've actually observed a couple of HA's in recovery settings and they had females with them that were not bearing scars and walking with their eyes to the floor like some women in some parts of our landscape of pain. Those HA’s don't beat their partners is my guess. Hell, they're even getting sober these days! It's still not the 'norm' to be living a clean, honest life in or out of the Gangs, whatever we call them.

Gangs: Cops, Hell's Angels, Vice Lords, Politicians, Lawmakers & Lawbreakers, Clergy, etc. The bottom line is, if we start seeing each other deeper than our behavior, the behavior will self-correct.

Remember, people can change. https://youtu.be/bQ4zG_PezjI

What Are Healthy Boundaries?

‘What Do Boundaries Feel Like?’

This is a question I often see posed on codependency websites, pages, or groups.  Afterward, a bullet point list generally presented that does little to nothing to describe ‘feelings.’ The question itself has always left me feeling a little unsettled, nervous, and even a bit fearful. I believe in Live and Let Live, so it’s none of my business what others think or feel on an educational platform. But I do have an opinion on the matter than might make me look iconoclastic. That’s not a bad thing, per se, but I don’t want to be judgmental about it. Hence, my apprehension. Geez, why does anyone say, What Do Boundaries “feel” like, but then go on to say what they ‘think’? Check it out. What is the dictionary definition of a feeling?

feel·ing

/ˈfēliNG/

Noun:

1.       an emotional state or reaction.

Exp:  "a feeling of joy."

2.       a belief, especially a vague or irrational one.

Exp:  "she had the feeling that she was being watched."

Adjective:

showing emotion or sensitivity.

Exp: “She had a warm and feeling heart."

Now let’s get back to the bullet points attending the question “what do boundaries feel like?” They typically go on to describe rules for relationships, AKA “boundaries vaguely." Here’s my disclaimer:  The way I view topics in recovery life is probably best described as the Minority Opinion.  Having revealed that, I would like to tear apart and reconstruct the bullet point descriptions.

First of all, I think what they mean is, “What Do Healthy Boundaries Look Like?  “Boundaries” can be good or bad, healthy, or unhealthy; if they want to talk about what healthy boundaries ‘feel’ like, the list would have to be drastically altered.

Okay, here we go:

·         “It is not my job to fix others.”  Agreed, unless one has been assigned that task in agreement, such as with a therapist.  While we might protect someone, such as a child or someone vulnerable, it is still not our job to “fix” them.

·         “It is okay if others get angry.”  What does “okay” mean?  For me, it’s okay to stay peaceful, centered, and grateful even when others are exhibiting feelings of anger. Their feelings of anger or joy are none of my business to judge, so their anger is not “okay" or “not okay.” Taking someone else’s inventory without being asked to do so is a can to gossip, and is an unhealthy boundary.

·         “It is okay to say no.”  Agreed, if the thing we are saying ‘no’ to is an illusory reflection of our healthy sensibilities. Even if our “no” is unreasonable, we still have a right to be irrational from time to time. When we realize we made a mistake and hurt ourselves or others, that’s what amends are made for. It is hard to say “no” to people who are demanding, narcissistic, or who are in positions of authority. But sometimes we have to say “no” anyway. It takes courage to say no.

·         “It’s not my job to take responsibility for others.”  An over-inflated sense of responsibility often obscures a person suffering from codependency from seeing what their responsibility for others is or is not. My responsibility “to” people with healthy boundaries differs from my responsibility “for” people with healthy boundaries. One can be responsible for a vulnerable adult or child, but being accountable to others or for others is contingent upon the mutual spoken or unspoken agreements into which they have entered.

·         “I don’t have to anticipate the needs of others.”  Agreed, in healthy relationships, people are capable of self-advocacy.  Focusing on one’s own needs sets the stage for healthy relationships. If one is healthy, for example, one can contribute healthily within any given relationship, professional or personal.  The proverbial plane going down comes to mind. When the oxygen masks drop down from there compartments, and an unhealthy person would go about helping others affix their oxygen masks before attaching their own. Riding a sick horse is not wisdom.

·         “It is my job to make me happy.”  Now here, a lot of people would probably disagree with me.  While I do believe that happiness is a choice based on willingness to be happy, the dynamics of choice in my life emanate from my willingness to be in a healthy relationship with my Higher Power.  It is none of my business what others think of me, and it is not my business what I think of myself. My only business is what my Higher Power thinks of me. My Higher Power always thinks and feels in connection to my (our: HP & Me) highest good.  For me, choosing to be happy amid difficulty and choosing to be satisfied while everything seems to be going well are equal propositions. “It’s my job to make me happy” is to turn my will in my life over to the care of God as I understand God. Being happy with my defects of character happens when I surrender my shortcomings to my Higher Power. That is when I become willing to let God remove all of my defects of character, and choose to be happy when the deficiencies remain. I trust that their presence is required in my life. Why my imperfections are required is none of my business; it is my business to trust that it is so. Forgiveness always runs deeper than the offense which requires its presence. Without an offense, there is no forgiveness. Therefore, I should celebrate the offense through forgiveness, just like grief is proof of praise for a thing I love.

·         “Nobody has to agree with me.”  Agreed. Nor do I have to agree with anyone else. I don’t even have to agree with myself. I have a right to change my mind, just like everybody else. As the poet W.H. Auden wrote, “If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.”

·         “I have a right to my own feelings.”  I agree with this one. Love is a feeling, a noun, and a verb who made peace with one another. People erroneously say that “feelings are not facts.” It would be hard for me to disagree with this more than I do. “Since feeling is first, who pays any attention to the syntax of things,” e.e. cummings wrote, “will never wholly kiss you.” I feel, therefore, I think I Am.

·         “I am enough.” Always, even when I don’t feel or think I am at any given moment! Even in times of despair, bear in mind, ‘This Too Shall Pass’. The real question is, “Who am I?” If I am a person who ‘know(s) thyself’, and I am a person who can be myself no matter what, then it is time to remove my shoes, because I am treading on Sacred Space. Find out who you are, then be precisely who you are.

I want to leave you with a quote by Marianne Williamson.

Who am I? Who are YOU? Who are WE?

2019 "SHINE" ~ My 'Word of the Year'

My Word for 2019 was “Shine!" and well, my light is still shining! It was dimmed for a while there, first with a couple of little health hiccups (Shingles and then Cancer). At one point, I was between both worlds, here and the next. The veil was gone, as I could see both worlds, but this one was closer than the next. I saw two personages of bright white light standing in the distance, waiting for me. I sensed they know me, and I know them but didn’t have enough clarity to know who they were. My/our choices determined transparency, and I decided to stay here; make of it what you will. 'Why' I chose to stay would require quite a labor of description, which I might do at some point, but for now, suffice it to say I'll be around for a while longer to speak and write. Maybe another 30-40 years? Who knows such things. ODAAT! :-)

I have only three emails that I could use to send you emails, and this is the last one of the free trial. I was gifted with a tax write-off to cover paying for one year of email campaign coverage for 12 months. Likewise, if anyone cares to donate to my business in any way, even if it's to buy a book/s for libraries, a DVD of a speech, or to sign a contract for me to speak somewhere, "you too can" take it as a tax write-off. Geez, I sound like a commercial and a wordy one at that what.

What I need the most is a traveling podium or ESPECIALLY, a projector for speeches to show PowerPoint presentations. I'm also looking for Sponsors; even if it's only to put your organizations' name down as someone who believes in my mission, that would be great! I soooo want to get my health back and start working again! Getting off of welfare and medical assistance would be awesome! I have not lost my phone or car, which is good, right? But I have not been able to afford the rent for a long time. I seriously need help; I'm talking about business, not freebie handouts.

I have a daily schedule of things I need to do, and today's task is to encourage my peeps and followers to investigate my various social profiles. Here you go!

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/69970625-timothy-g-cameron

Where my book can be ranked and commented on.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/timothy-g-cameron-21b91b32/

Business background.

https://allpoetry.com/Timothy_Cameron

I've written poetry there on and off for a long time. Writing poetry helped save my life, without a doubt!

https://twitter.com/ExCons_4_Christ

I started Excons for Christ maybe 20-years ago but didn't make the Twitter account for it until later. And a second Twitter account, a bit more secular. I rarely do anything on Twitter, but maybe it'll interest you. https://twitter.com/Timothygcameron

https://www.facebook.com/CamComConsulting/

My Facebook page (not 'personal'). You know the deal. If it ain't on Facebook, it ain't real. I won't give you my old MySpace link. :-)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPlmJHQqRSCTUOBfOBdv0rQ/

This is my YouTube Channel, but none of my MADD speeches are Public. I did some interviews for CitiTalk about my book and speaking, and have done some interviews for The Inconplete Skeptic. Guests have been Sacred Lodge Founder Debbyanne Brayton, Tezikiah Gabriel who has spoken at the United Nations many times, and William McManus, a friend of mine and the son of a Prison Warden (RIP) whom I admired for his sense of humanity.

I'm working on getting a camera and mic for making videos (soon). My expertise in videography leaves much to be desired, but I'll get there. I have some guests lined up for future shows! Douglas Feltman has recorded several of my MADD talks and he is an excellent Videographer. He made some DVD's for me and they are on sale for $100 for personal use and $500 for businesses.

I hope everyone has a great holiday and thanks for being on my Newsletter list! Oh, what should my Word of the Year 2020 be? My biggest project for 2020 is getting Phoenix 490 flying!