It has been a long time since I have posted a Blog or Newsletter. Many reasons for that, few of them adequate, really. Distractions, mostly self-generated, like most of my issues in life. That my ex stalks me is something I let go of for the most part, but it’s a little creepy to know she reads every word I write. It’s been many years since she divorced me, but a narcissist never really lets go…but whatever. Such is life; Forgiveness is a miracle I choose to embrace. My partner and I have been together since 2010, and despite all of the societal pressures to be politically triggered, angry, and divisive, we have stayed largely neutral and happy together. Anyone can find the dirt on someone. Be the one who finds the gold.
ANYWAY, so here’s an update on what’s cooking in my life, but I am rarely overly personal here.
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I am involved in the Minnesota Corrections Association’s “Full Circle” group. We are Ex-Cons who strive to help those in corrections advocate for useful legislation in Minnesota. Full Circle is a group of individuals who have served at least 5 years in prison and have been out of prison for at least 5 years, and are now living productive lives. If you know a Minnesota Ex-Con meeting our ‘5 In - 5 Out’ ideal who might be interested in being part of our Legislative Team, have them email me.
So a friend often sends me news about DWI offenders who kill and injure, mostly in Minnesota. Both he and I have hurt or killed someone while driving impaired. He is not part of Full Circle because he didn’t complete 5 years in prison. However, he and I have spoken on DWI Impact Panels together many times, mostly for MADD Minnesota. He has been sober for 11 years as of May 31st and received his medallion at our 12-Step Group last night.
Izak
He sent me an article about a young man, Izak Shermerhorn, who managed to stay sober for almost one year, but who decided he could drink again, which, of course, is his choice and freedom to do, but he paid a huge price. He bought a nice vehicle (pickup truck), got hammered (impaired with a BAC of 0.103), and had his good friend along to show off his vehicle, and started driving in speedy ‘fish tails’. The vehicle tipped over, and his friend was killed. He is charged with CVH (criminal vehicular homicide).
The first time I got drunk, I was 14 years old, and committed my first felony.
I sold my freedom for a drink
When I drink, I become capable of killing people.
But for the grace of God, there go I.
Izak might be on the front end of long-term sobriety, or he might commit suicide. Hard to know where his life will end up. After sobering up and starting my journey as a MADD speaker in January 1991, I didn’t commit suicide because I knew I couldn’t continue to work to help others if I were dead. Feeling my feelings in their entirety without an escape into drugs or alcohol…no way to anesthetize reality, was incredibly difficult. I had nowhere to ride or hide, and suicide wasn’t an option. Due to suicidal ideations, I was going to quit MADD. My Sponsor (she preferred ‘Spiritual Advisor’) told me that I had to love and forgive myself like she loved and forgave the guy who killed her son, Mark. Mary Jo gave me an assignment to do Mirror Therapy every morning.
So, back to more recent stuff. I attended the biggest Minnesota recovery event, the Gopher State Roundup of the year, last weekend. One particular speaker, Harold Long, amazed me with the numerous synchronicities between his story and mine. I reached out to ask if he would be a Guest on my podcast, The Incomplete Skeptic, Sober Wise Guy series. I hope he says yes. Many years ago, he was in a car with three drunk friends when they crashed, killing four other people. He was sleeping in the back seat when they crashed. He had 4 DWIs before sobering up. He lives in Missouri, where I drove impaired, killing Little Timmy. He created a program workshop and is a very successful business owner today.
Since I wrote the foregoing, Harold sent me an invite to his weekly ZOOM meeting. Is the ball rolling?
For those of you who are new to my work, I’ve been involved with Twin Cities Prison Ministry. They invite a score of us Ex-Cons to share. Most of us are Christian, so if you ever come to the event, know that you’ll hear a bunch of people using the G-Word and Jesus Talk. :-)
They have invited me to many Panels to help promote prison ministry. I’ve made a few wonderful friends along the way. While I did attend a few church services in Minnesota prison, I was still pretty mixed up in my belief systems. I had spiritual experiences, though, and know God was sending Helpers!
Some of you may be wondering what my podcasts are and what they're about. I have two podcasts: the Income Skeptic and Sober Wise Guy. TIS explores unusual ideas and the people behind them, while SWG shares stories from Old Timers in recovery (those who have been sober for 30 years or more). One of the reasons for SWG is to create a memory that people can listen to who knew the Guests when they were alive. A few of the Guests are in their 80s or 90s, while many of us were born in the 1980s or 1990s. LOL!
So, if anyone here is interested in helping my Ministry, I’ll admit I am always open to donations. At the end of each month, I am on a thin shoestring budget. I am working on creating a Chess Workshop for prisoners, and an Impact Panel-Phoenix 490, comprised of ex-offenders. Please help my cause. Even sending an email credit for purchasing tournament chess sets from the United States Chess Federation would be welcome. Below is a photo of me when I was in prison. I wrote an article about chess in The Prison Mirror.
Peace, and remember to tell at least three people a day that you love them!
